East Nashville “Crime Prevention” Meeting & Meet Neighborhood Watch Captain Bob Acuff

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We’ve had enough ride-share entertainment for this week, and have nearly 20 similar ones in the tipbox in case it’s a slow news day anytime soon – so let’s get back to the real ‘East Nashville’ business… you  know the kind… where we like to pretend we’re in control of everything, and nothing happens in the neighborhood without both our knowledge AND approval? yea, that stuff. That can only mean it’s time to talk about the weekly ‘East Nashville Crime Prevention’ Meeting (known as the CPM to those in the know!) – which has never ever even once prevented any crime – in fact, it may have caused a few. Rather it serves to give the self-appointed neighborhood watchman something to do every Thursday.

crime barney

We should point out that while the MNPD is only doing their job and providing information to the public and has no control over the busybodies that show up for these things, we generally don’t have an opinion either way on them, other than what we hear time after time after time of people calling to report their house robbed in East Nashville, and the officers arriving 4 to 8 hours after the report is called in. To us, that is not policing. To us that is nothing to be proud of. We should also note the single exception to the mostly sucky East Nashville police force is Michael Fisher – He is quite possibly the only ‘good guy’ in the MNPD that truly gives back to the community and isn’t an embarrassment to the force. We tip our hat to Fisher, as he is also easy on the eyes, am I right, ladies?

So, what IS the East Nashville CPM (Crime Prevention Meeting) exactly? Basically it’s a couple of folks from the MNPD (Nashville Police) that gather with a few busy-bodies from the neighborhood every Thursday, generally at a bar, where lunch is optional, and a few stats are given from the MNPD, a few “i was stupid and left my iphone/ipad/wallet in my car seat overnight and it was stolen” stories are heard from the pubic, and a few “you should not do that, let me tell the world how stupid you were and remind everyone to lock the doors so i will feel important and have a purpose in life and appear to have the backing of the MNPD in my words so i feel even more important than I am” statements are heard from the busybodies.

crime prev 1

So that brings us to WHO shows up for these meetings? There is one ‘for sure’ answer to that – busy bodies. In particular, Bob Acuff – the self-appointed king of the East Nashville Neighborhood Watch, and king of the munchkins, and busybody of the year – Bob Acuff has never missed a meeting that we’re aware of. We’re fairly certain he’s after the ‘Perfect Attendance’ award. And if you’re curious as to just how crazy his views are, here is just one example of many of his philosophy – which is to call the police for any reason for any time about anything. We’d love to file a FOIA of just how many calls he’s made to the MNPD each year. In fact, we may just make that request.

Here is his reaction to basically everything – it’s the same no matter what:


Bob Acuff: Neighborhood Watch Captain
Bob Acuff: Neighborhood Watch Captain

So, if you’re bored on any given Thursday, you can join the busybodies for the CPM – Crime Prevention Meeting – though after many many meetings we’re still not sure exactly what crimes have ever been prevented. What are your thoughts on these Crime ‘Prevention’ Meetings? Sound off in the comments, below.

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