Neighborhood Watchful: Suspicious Black/Brown Male Reported by a Racist Hipster Edition

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It just wouldn’t be the same if an entire day passed without this happening in East Nashville: White hipster chick (the kind from those Aerial Developments) goes jogging through a perfectly nice neighborhood and sees a non-white person either on a lawn, using a sidewalk, sitting a porch (they MUST be casing the joint!), or heaven forbid knocking on the front door instead of the back – and hipster chick either immediately calls 911 to report a ‘suspicious character’ or goes on Facebook to warn all her other white Aerial Development friends that there is a unscrupulous person running a muck outside in the East Nashville jungle. After all, if you “see something, say something”, right?

The joy, and even the inspiration for this post, comes in the fact that this chick got called out on her shit by her neighbors and community within minutes of it happening – In fact, we have a response below by the person she ‘observed’ this shady character being suspicious to. Let’s begin:

White racist hipster which chick Robin Black (seriously, can your name be more telling?) posted her experience below at the link that once existed in the East Nashville Facebook group, it’s now removed by dear Robin, we assume out of embarassment, now the link will only give you this:

Never fear, Robin dear, as the internet is forever. You only think your post is removed, we saved the screenshots in full. Well, not us directly, but your black neighbor who submitted them to our tipline.


Her Facebook post reads: SAFETY ALERT – I was just walking on stratton n 14th n suspicious black/brown male 30s/ 40s / 50s wearing black coat with light colored or beige hood on jacket , wearing baseball cap, walked up to house on stratton. , knocked on door said his name was john , homeowner didn’t let him in , continued watching him of my walk , went to different house , knocked , no answer , then he headed down 14th towards eastland n cut through alleyway on 14th before getting to eastland , just thought everyone should b on lookout, thanks, have a great evening east nashville.

We immediately had many questions – such as what exactly we should be on ‘safety alert’? Why she’s being such a nosy bitch? why we should be on ‘lookout’ for this person that knocked on a door? and how this black/brown male could be either 30 or 50, or both? Turns out her neighbors wondered this too:



And THEN, in what can only be described as the best timing in the entire history of the East Nashville Facebook group, the person replies that was actually on the other side of the door from this crazy man that deserved a ‘SAFETY ALERT’. WHY was he there?


He was a neighbor that stopped by to borrow some dollars. Turns out he was probably just hungry, after all. Whew, that was a close one, Robin, you almost got the guy three hots and a cot! That’s almost a good deed, right?


JUST when we thought it was over, our lulz are rewarded even more – this time by self-appointed neighborhood watch captain Bob Acuff (more on this winner later today, he gets a post of his very own in the queue!). Good ‘Ol Bob says that we should call the police on this fella anyways, because you know he may need ‘HELP’ or something. Anyone that knocks on his door deserves police intervention. We can only imagine that girl scout cookie season is interesting around his house:


So originally, we were going to award our dear Robin with our racist of the day award – however this Bob Acuff fella – well we think the two are in good company together. Maybe we can put together a go-fundme to send them on a date, or so they can afford to tour an Aerial home’s open house? Also, funny enough, is the fact that we already had a great post about this Bill Acuff idiot’s Crime Prevention Crew and other useless stuff he does, like self-appoint himself as head of the munchkins neighborhood watch in East Nashville… we already have a post about this idiot in our queue, scheduled to publish over the weekend. We may have to speed that up since he decided to make an early appearance in this post, so our readers can get the full view of his antics.

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