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**UPDATED: Jenny Obert Responds: “You’re like the Onion, only better!”**

We ALL want that strong powerful boyfriend – am I right, ladies? The man that takes out the trash, and still looks good in skinny jeans, right? The kind that can tell a stranger to get off our property, and not get taken for all the cash in his pocket, right? The kind that only rolls over in bed, and not for strangers. Well, we can’t ALL have that man, as East Nashville resident Jenny Obert recently found out. Let’s be clear – this is NOT about Jenny, of whom we have several mutual friends in our circles and have met on occasion – no, Jenny is one badass chick. This is the tale of her boyfriend, and a warning to other East Nashville residents – never leave your skinny jeans boyfriend home alone. Never. Ever. Don’t do it. Even if he graduates from skinny jeans, supervision is still required.

Jenny broke rule #1 – she left a hipster unsupervised. Jenny left her boyfriend home alone.

As Jenny reported to the East Nashville Neighborhood Watch, while her boyfriend was home alone a few nights ago, some folks rolled up to her driveway and parked, asked if they could haul away any junk, once it was loaded on the truck demanded cash from the guy for “services rendered” and essentially robbed him because he was unable to apparently speak, or say no, or call the police, or even blow on his rape whistle. This is what happens when Old junk haulers who have been in the neighborhood for years prey on the new hipsters. The hipsters have NO idea the junk is actually worth money, and legitimate haulers will usually PAY YOU to remove it, because they are getting double or triple that amount for scrapping the metals. THIS is what our neighborhood has come to. This hauler has both figured out to look for skinny jeans, because it’s easier to judge the size of their balls, and their likelihood to tell someone ‘no’ or to get off their property, instead they simply roll over, open their wallets, and even provide the lube at no cost. This is what it feels like to get fucked in skinny jeans.

Three individuals and truck approached my BF in our back yard at night fall (blocking his car in the drive) and begged to haul away any trash. He allowed them to remove an old TV and two junk doors that were sitting in the drive way. Then they charged him $60 once the truck was loaded. He said they were very persistent. Anyone else met these folks? I wasn't home when it happened.

“Three individuals and truck approached my BF in our back yard at nightfall (blocking his car in the drive) and begged to haul away any trash. He allowed them to remove an old TV and two junk doors that were sitting in the drive way. Then they charged him $60 once the truck was loaded. He said they were very persistent. Anyone else met these folks? I wasn’t home when it happened.”

As expected, we are not the only ones to give Jenny some grief here, and she is very clear that if she were at home, she would have kicked them off the property.

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**UPDATED: Jenny Obert Responds: “You’re like the Onion, only better!”**

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Jenny, we tip our hat to you – and if you need to go out for a girls night, we invite you to join us – we’ll even spring for the babysitter so the boyfriend isn’t unsupervised. We can’t have that craziness spreading to other men in the neighborhood.

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