Nashville Postmates: The Stoner’s Delight – Funny Texts Edition!

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While our local team of do-gooders at the Nashville Postmates recently took some heat for passing along restaurant tip surcharges of 20% to it’s customers and still expecting a tip of their own (more on how they feel about tips tomorrow) – while telling the merchants they were absorbing the costs within the company – the actual delivery drivers themselves – the ones that you and I would interact with, are just your normal group of fun-loving individuals. We’ve read over months of communications given to us by a former Postmate, and while there are some revelations in there that we know will give you some shock and awe in the upcoming days, we’re going to leave you with this tonight – some of the funniest texts/communications between Postmates and their customers (whom are often too drunk/high/etc to make the drive themselves) – and even a couple of tips and tricks to enhance your Postmates experience. So enjoy the good stuff tonight, before we take a more serious look at this crew over the next few days, so enjoy the smiles and laughter for now.

See Also: Postmates Nashville Uncensored

McDonalds: Customer will take one of…. well, everything.


Judgement: The fast food fiend / frequent fler – too high to drive / Join me:



Though not technically allowed – this just goes to show you that if you keep retrying you’ll eventually get one (several confirmed) that WILL deliver alcohol to your doorstep! Try, try, and try again!

postmates alcohol yes

pm alcohol 2

Doing some emergency surgical supplies in the middle of the night in Belle Meade? Postmates has you covered!


At the end of each delivery, the Postmate gets to provide feedback. This one reads “Non responsive to any of my texts and seemed like weird guy”. Yes, your Postmate is judging you.


You can’t ALWAYS have it YOUR way:


Sometimes, it’s better to just break out in song, via text, with a very cool customer:



And then we move on to the Nashville Postmates favorite customer – Big Dick Dylan. That’s the name of his residence on FourSquare – which is where Postmates pulls all geo data from and sets places as serviceable. Big Dick Dylan’s is fully serviceable… on multiple occasions:




There are tons more, but those were some of the funniest hilights – your Postmates delivery drivers are really just hard working folks like the rest of us – well, maybe they’re funnier than most of us. Do you have any funny postmates stories to share?

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Call / Text Kurt NOW! 615-479-0550

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2 Thoughts to “Nashville Postmates: The Stoner’s Delight – Funny Texts Edition!”

  1. yungsixx

    who cares?

  2. […] the shakeups and controversy happening over at deliver-anything-to-your-doorstep ‘Postmates’, and their couriers, which many of us here in East Nashville have learned to rely on religiously, to snag anything from […]

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