Oh Cameron, welcome to Nashville. We were around when you were here the first time, when you come to launch Postmates into our great city – what you don’t know is the absolute shambles that Andre left for you to find. Don’t worry it’s not like you’ll notice anything suddenly – it’s a lot of small things that you’ll notice over time – not that you’ll probably be here long enough to care but at any rate we feel compelled to let you in on the Nashville Funhouse that is Postmates.
So what are some of the goodies that were left off during Andre’s move to the corporate office (we’ll have a post on that next week with info that reads like the catholic clergy moves than a San Fran Startup)? Here’s just a few to start with:
Andre seems to like to promise local restaurants that if they’d like to add a 20% surcharge to their Postmates orders only, to cover the tips for bartenders/prep/servers, that Postmates would NOT pass the charge onto the customer, so everyone would be happy. After East Nashville News starting exposing this practice as a lie, most restaurants have either removed the charge or stopped doing business with Postmates due to the trust issue with Andre.
It’s interesting to note that as soon as we sent a note to Cameron to say hello and welcome back to town, he began deleting his old social media accounts, such as his twitter, some of which had his underage partying pics, with drugs, alcohol, and scantily clad women, among many other thing he wouldn’t want made public – but don’t worry, this wasn’t our first rodeo, we got archives of everything before we reached out to you, in anticipation of your actions. Game point – as you can seen in our screenshots from 1/27 his twitter handle WAS @cjswanson93 – we’ll post some of the goodies later on.
Speaking of fucking things – Nashville has our customers covered, even posting their addresses of customers (which we redacted) – and Nashville also delivers bongs – despite the corporate ‘no no’ (also alcohol too, but there’s a secret store to select next door so that job support doesn’t cancel the order! – about 20% of nashville ‘mates are in the know, so sometimes you have to try it a few times to get one that knows the deal!)
Of course we noticed you had your own issue with a backlog of physical mail – you won’t be surprised to learn that Andre’s Nashville email backlog was up to 3 weeks at one point – yea, we don’t understand what he does either?
Of course if you’re wondering how to properly park in Nashville – we just suggest asking a Postmate for an illegal sign, we’re sure they’ll share.
Don’t worry, we like to take drunken selfies, too – we’ll share some with you at some point, or maybe we’ll just share more of yours – at any rate, welcome to Nashville, enjoy your stay, we’re sure it’ll be short while you try to find another sucker to take a CM (Community Manager) job for 35K – so you’ll get some college flunkie living with his parents that thinks he can live on 35K on his own. Good luck with any real talent.
There’s plenty more to tell, and we’re sure that Andre has tried to write all this off and pretend he’s clueless, but time will tell. Choose your next CM wisely, consider that 35K gets you exactly what 35K is worth – and you get what you pay for. You want professionalism, it will cost you – otherwise, welcome to Nashville!